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Rebuilding Your Finances After Divorce: How I Went From Broke at 46 to Debt-Free at 52

December 6, 2024 · 39 min · Watch on YouTube
DIVORCED and BROKE : My Story Rebuilding and How I Turned Financial Ruin Into a Fresh Start
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This one is different from my other videos. I sat down with a whiteboard and a page of notes and walked through exactly how I got to less than zero — divorced at 46, more debt than stuff — and the plan I used to dig out over the next six years.

If a divorce, an illness, or anything else has put you back at the starting line later in life, I want you to see that the math still works. It just takes a plan, a priority list, and more patience than you want to have.

What you'll learn

How I ended up below zero

I was 44 when my ex asked for a divorce, 46 when we separated and sold the house. Three kids, middle school and early high school. When the dust settled, if I had sold everything I owned and paid off every debt, I would have been below zero. I had money. I also had credit cards, a personal loan, a car loan, and taxes owed. The debts were bigger than the stuff.

I'm honest in the video about what that does to you. I dropped from about 210 pounds to about 172. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating right, I stopped exercising. I spent two or three years in a bad head space. That matters financially, because interest doesn't stop accruing just because you don't feel good.

The hardest part: starting over in your 40s and 50s

In my 20s I worked 8 in the morning to 10 or 11 at night, five or six days a week, and thought nothing of it. At 52 I can't do that three days in a row without needing real recovery. So you're back at the same financial spot you were at 22, without the same physical tool set. What you do have is wisdom and experience — I work smarter now than I did then, and that's what balances it out.

Goals first, then the plan

Before I attacked the debt I wrote down my goals. Kids first: I wanted their life to change as little as possible, so I rented a home with nearly the same floor plan, kept the same bedroom setup, and kept one vacation a year. Then me: retirement, which was cut in half with no new contributions going in. The kids' college accounts had stopped funding entirely. Savings was basically gone. Cars needed replacing as the kids turned 16. And I had my own business to keep alive.

Then I prioritized those goals by where the money goes every month: kids' college, retirement, a home someday, and the big one — debt.

Cutting expenses until it hurt

I built a budget so I knew exactly what came in and what went out. You only have two levers: raise income or cut expenses. I put my little bit of capital into my business to work on income, and I went after expenses hard. Lawn service, gone — I cut my own grass, almost two hours a week. House cleaning, gone — three-plus hours every Saturday. Restaurants, gone. I even killed the air conditioning for the four hottest months and slept and worked in the basement because it was cooler, which took a $300 electric bill closer to $150.

Interest rate and pain

My debt list was four credit cards, a personal loan used to pay off earlier cards, a car loan, and taxes. Cards around 24%, the personal loan around 12%, the car around 8%. Rate matters most — but so does pain. Nobody comes to your house for a credit card; they can repossess a car; and taxes don't go away even in bankruptcy, and they can reach wages or assets. So taxes went first, then I worked the rates from highest down, rolling each freed-up payment onto the next debt.

One unique move that worked

I owed about $12,000 on a car worth about $18,000. I called to refinance to lower the payment and they offered $16,000. I took the extra cash and paid off a small 24% credit card. Same money owed, now at 8%, and a lower monthly payment too.

Staying in the fight

I bought a pack of plastic trophies on Amazon — about $10 for twelve. I put a sticker on each one with the lender and the balance and lined them up on the bottom shelf of my office. Every time I paid one off, it moved up to eye level, and a buddy and I went out for a steak to celebrate. Six years later, one kid is out of college, one is in a master's program, one is a sophomore, the debt is gone, retirement is rebuilt, and I'm in better shape than I've ever been.

Key steps

  1. Write down every goal, including the non-money ones, and rank them.
  2. Build a real budget — exact money in, exact money out, and what's left over.
  3. Cut the expenses you can do yourself, temporarily, and route that cash to debt. See cutting expenses to pay off cards.
  4. List every debt with balance, payment, and rate, then sort by rate and by consequence.
  5. Attack the top debt, then roll that payment down the list — run it in the Debt Avalanche Calculator.
  6. Look for rate-shifting moves like a car refinance to kill a high-rate card.
  7. Track it on paper or in the Debt-Freedom Tracker and celebrate every payoff.
  8. Once the debt is gone, restart retirement and savings contributions.

FAQ

How long does it take to rebuild financially after a divorce?

Mine took six years, and that was longer than I wanted. It depends on how much debt you're carrying, how much income you can generate, and how many people depend on you. The honest answer is that it takes longer than one year. Put in real numbers at the Credit Card Payoff Calculator and you'll get your own timeline instead of guessing.

Which debt should I pay off first when I'm starting over?

Two filters. Interest rate — the highest rate costs you the most every month. And pain — what happens if you can't pay. Taxes and secured loans like a car carry consequences a credit card doesn't. I dealt with the painful one first, then worked down by rate. Compare methods with Avalanche vs. Snowball.

Should I stop saving for retirement and college while paying off debt?

I'm not a financial advisor, and this is just what I did: my kids' college contributions and my own retirement contributions paused while I killed high-rate debt, then I restarted both hard once I had room. Get a good accountant and a good financial planner to bounce ideas off of, and read pay off debt or invest first for the math.

Read the full guide
Rebuilding Finances After Divorce: A Debt Payoff Plan

The step-by-step written version, with a worked example.

Run your numbers